Dolce and Gabbana Men 2015

The Subtle Madness of Spring: Milan Men’s Week Spring 2015

Gentle reader,

The men’s spring 2015 shows in Milan just wrapped up yesterday but I’ve been so involved in learning the ropes at my new Rodeo Drive digs, where we are basically working in a very glamorous construction zone while a remodel of mind-blowing proportions takes place around us, that it’s taken me a little time to wrap my head around what’s strutted down the runways in the last four days.  I’d been planning to touch on what ideas the guys might want to incorporate as fall wares roll into stores, but I decided instead to stay all fresh and newsworthy so here’s a breakdown of the shit that went down in Italy last weekend.

In keeping with his loose, dark feel of the fall Ermenegildo Zegna collection, Mr. Pilati started Saturday off all dark and moody with midnight blues and black in fluid, almost baggy, pants and light jackets. 

Milan’s Fall 2014 Collections: Groovy, baby!

Gentle reader,

As you may or may not know, producers of the Oscars are panicking over the red carpet this year and, as early as last Sunday night, started shutting down the streets I use to get to work so they could build their mega-tents.  This is because Southern California’s much-hyped Storm of the Century is about to touch down, dropping a whole inch or maybe two on L.A. and causing widespread mayhem amongst people who can’t drive properly even under beautiful, sunny skies.  Torrential rains were handled pretty well at Cannes this year, if I remember correctly, and it drizzles on the Golden Globes almost every time so I don’t know why they have to freak out and fuck up my morning commute but, hey, that’s what I get for living on the Walk of Fame.

In the midst of all this, I decided to look back over Milan Fashion Week to see what I really liked and didn’t. 

The Blonds

New York and London Fashion Weeks: It’s Highlights, People!

Gentle reader,

The fashion carousel spins around once again, holding many breathless in anticipation of what will be coming our way for Fall/Winter 2014-2015.  I am not so spellbound this time myself, mostly because I’m too goddamned busy running around trying to sell clothes for this spring and driving back and forth to the Desert building a skin care empire.  It would be remiss of me, though, to ignore the New York and London Fashion Weeks entirely so I’m going to share a couple of the most intriguing moments and be on my goddamned busy way.

Most go-to fashion news sources regularly fail to feature the amusing shows from The Blonds at each NYFW and I’m guessing it may have something to do with the line’s marketability. 

American Hustler Mert Marcus

Turn That Smile Upside Down: Milan Men’s Fashion Week Fall 2014

Gentle reader,

Now that the dust has settled a bit after this month’s men’s Fashion Week marathon, I thought it might be a good time to look back over what we saw in Milan and Paris on that nine-day run when we’re less inclined to be swept away by the spectacle of the show or spew bile on a collection because we didn’t have a chance to have our morning coffee.

And by “we”, of course, I mean “I.” I don’t expect to be treated like a princess or anything but please don’t make me look at clothes, even my own, before I’ve had at least a gulp or two of coffee.

The general feeling in the industry over Milan seemed to be that everything was a bit sad due to the current economic picture in Italy and that the collections were workable but uninspired. 

It’s a Plaid, Plaid, Plaid, Plaid World — London Collections: Men

Honestly, it feels a little surreal to be walking around in mid-January in gym shorts while much of the U.S. is experiencing cold so brutal that people in the Midwest are beginning to think the Earth’s poles have shifted.  England isn’t faring much better as waves of torrential rain continue to batter dear old Blighty but, in the British tradition of maintaining a stiff upper lip, the men’s fall fashion presentations now known as London Collections: Men went off pretty much without a hitch over the last few days.

I saw it written somewhere that Selfridges’ creative director Alannah Weston had joined the committee of this rapidly growing fashion event, which started me reminiscing back to my Oxford days when Alannah and I played on the polo team together. 

Givenchy SS 2014

That’s a Wrap: Paris Fashion Week Spring 2014

Gentle reader,

Now that the U.S. Government is shutting down—and let’s hope that’s just a temporary situation—those of us who work for the national parks and many government agencies will have a little more time to think about we’re going to be wearing next spring.  For those of you who haven’t even started to think about what to wear next week, I feel you.  It’s ninety degrees in L.A. one day and seventy the next so I’m pretty much dressing according to the iPhone weather app.

Nevertheless, the marathon of fashion weeks that began in New York a month ago is nearly complete with just a couple more shows in Paris. 

Dolce & Gabana FInale

Musings from Milan: The Spring 2014 Collections Continue

Gentle reader,

Well, it looks like we’ve come to that time in the semi-annual round of fashion weeks when I really want to be done looking at clothes.  This point might have arrived a little earlier than usual this season because many of the collections haven’t clicked for me.  There has been a lot of all white and combinations of black and white but neither is highly original in a spring collection.  There’s also been a big move toward sheer, sometimes totally see-through fabrics and this has been used to lovely effect in some cases while, in most, the garments couldn’t be worn off the runway without prompting action by law enforcement.  

Burberry Prorsum S/S 14

London Fashion Week S/S ’14 and the Mystery of My Disappearing Undergarments

Gentle reader,

There is some shady shit going on around here, let me tell you.  My damn clothes have been disappearing left and right and it’s not just a sock going into that Twilight Zone of Socks once or twice a year.  All of the no-show socks that I bought to wear with my Valas loafers went in a single load of laundry a couple of weeks ago.  I had to buy more because I hate wearing shoes without socks and I’m not going to put them on with tube socks like some old golfer or German tourist, but the place was out of the light-colored ones so I had to buy them in black.