Steers and Queers

TUTTLE MODE

by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

Move over New Jersey.  Now there’s something meat-headier!  Yes, Texas has taken your place as the stupidest place in America; at least until Rick Perry moves away or some reality show producer decides to take a drive through West Virginia.  In honor of my fabulous friend Cynthia’s birthday-with-a-zero this week, I thought I’d take a look at the Lone Star State’s newest show A-List: Dallas.  You see, Cynthia is a Dallas native and she was rather disapproving when I reviewed the train wreck that is Bravo’s Most Eligible Dallas.  I believe she said something like, “Being from Dallas, I had to see if any of these pompous asses were related to me.  Thank God, I don’t know any of them.”  You can always count on Cynthia to get to the point.

Even though I drive past a huge Sunset Boulevard billboard for this show that features a bunch of uncomfortable looking people and the caption “Housewives with Balls, Y’all” on my way into Beverly Hills every morning, I’ve neglected tuning into this obvious MENSA brain trust until last Friday when there was nothing else on television.  I mean, really, there was nothing.  I don’t even bother anymore with HGTV and its endless House Hunters and House Hunters International bullshit and Say Yes to the Dress was playing back-to-back over on Style Network so I was kind of stuck with Logo’s gay-ass answer to the Real Housewives franchise.