Etro Men Fall/Winter 2014

Some Crazy Shit: Men’s Fall Fashion Trends Pt. 1

Gentle reader,

I apologize for yet another gap in my coverage of what’s what in fashion. In addition to settling in at my new Rodeo Drive home base, I’ve been asked to speak at several venues around Southern California in the last few weeks — I’ve somehow become a traveling attraction on the topic of anti-aging. It looks like I have a little break in touring; my next gig isn’t until August 6th at Los Robles Golf Club in Thousand Oaks.  If you happen to be in the area, stop by around seven and I’ll buy you a drink.

It’s a Plaid, Plaid, Plaid, Plaid World — London Collections: Men

Honestly, it feels a little surreal to be walking around in mid-January in gym shorts while much of the U.S. is experiencing cold so brutal that people in the Midwest are beginning to think the Earth’s poles have shifted.  England isn’t faring much better as waves of torrential rain continue to batter dear old Blighty but, in the British tradition of maintaining a stiff upper lip, the men’s fall fashion presentations now known as London Collections: Men went off pretty much without a hitch over the last few days.

I saw it written somewhere that Selfridges’ creative director Alannah Weston had joined the committee of this rapidly growing fashion event, which started me reminiscing back to my Oxford days when Alannah and I played on the polo team together. 

Givenchy SS 2014

That’s a Wrap: Paris Fashion Week Spring 2014

Gentle reader,

Now that the U.S. Government is shutting down—and let’s hope that’s just a temporary situation—those of us who work for the national parks and many government agencies will have a little more time to think about we’re going to be wearing next spring.  For those of you who haven’t even started to think about what to wear next week, I feel you.  It’s ninety degrees in L.A. one day and seventy the next so I’m pretty much dressing according to the iPhone weather app.

Nevertheless, the marathon of fashion weeks that began in New York a month ago is nearly complete with just a couple more shows in Paris. 

Topman Finale

Just the Beginning: London Collections Men for Spring 2014

Gentle reader,

As I sat in the dentist’s chair this morning and the hygienist scraped away at the teensy rocks of tartar that had attached themselves to my teeth under my gums, I had a thought.  Actually, I had two thoughts.  The first was “I wonder when was the last time someone in this chair lost enough blood to pass out.”  The second was that today marked the end of the new men’s fashion week in London, which has been officially and awkwardly named London Collections: Men.  They might not have wanted to label it a fashion week because it only lasts for three days but it still sounds weird. 

Hackett Fall 2013

London Collections: Men for Fall 2013. That Was Weird.

Gentle reader,

While walking along sunny Hollywood Boulevard yesterday, I was reminded by a tweet from my Australian stylist friend Bradley John that the fledgling London Collections for Men were underway for Fall/Winter 2013.  This was only the second go round for the mini-Fashion Week but, as is often the case with the London shows, there were a few solid designers mixed with quite a few I’ve never heard of and whose garments I will likely never see in person.  There was also some strange shit that will make for a very interesting autumn should anyone choose to wear it.

Into the latter category fell the Meadham Kirchhoff presentation, which was an exercise in weirdness but without the finesse or spectacle of a Thom Brown show.  Some of the eighteenth century pastoral theme from their women’s collections surfaced but, interwoven with some ecclesiastical details and punk rock fabrics, it was just a big mess.  The piled up black trash bags that provided the backdrop were a fitting commentary.

Topman Fall 2013

Topman

Alexander McQueen’s collection was a bizarre twist on traditional British tailoring.  The freaky styling of gelled hair and plastic facemasks was to be expected and the deconstructed-reconstructed pinstripe suits with exaggerated details were odd but there was a beautiful stained glass pattern on silk that I’m hoping to see more of.

Givenchy Finale

Secrets Travel Fast: Paris Fashion Week Spring 2013

Gentle reader,

Okay, so I’ve hardly watched anything on TV this past week except the first episode of Revenge which was fine except that the revelation that Victoria Grayson was still alive should have been a lot more shocking than just having Emily show up at the door of Victoria’s hideout on the pretense of helping free her falsely institutionalized daughter.  I mean, really?  If ABC doesn’t step it up, I’ll be forced to do a fashion addendum to Eric’s scathing critique of 666 Park Avenue.

Madeleine Stowe in ‘Revenge’

Much of the reason for my failure to keep up with the new TV shows is that I’m being forced to watch endless training footage on this season’s accessories from my design house’s Milan office.  I’m already a bit put out with Milan in general after the mess of last week’s spring 2013 shows but this really is the last straw.  The guy from the styling office is a handsome Italian with pretty eyes and just the right amount of scruff, but watching him pick up and put down those fucking shoes for two hours is just soul crushing.  When you add the nonsensical translation that seems voiced by a BBC News anchor who has suffered a stroke and is speaking perfectly pronounced English words in a completely random order, I’m surprised I haven’t downed a bottle of Drano by now.  Let’s see if I can do better in explaining next spring’s Paris collections.

It helps that we seem to be getting some clear messages again.  Black and white are major players in most of the important collections, Japanese influences are big and the circa-1970 ruffles and full sleeves that we saw at Gucci popped up everywhere.

Dior Fashion Film

REVIEW: Fall Fashion Films to Watch

Gentle reader,

As Americans suffer in the grip of a scorching heat wave, the fashion world continues to impatiently push us toward autumn with the big, thick September issues of all the important magazines.  My first one arrived today.  There are so many ads at the front that it usually takes me about half an hour to find the table of contents so I’ve decided to skip it from now on and just start reading in the middle.  I probably won’t miss anything important; just some letters from the editors and finely printed apologies for fucking up some photo credit a couple of months ago.

I’m only too aware of how schizophrenic this inundation of fall/winter feels as I bounce between hiking the sunny canyons in just gym shorts and sunglasses one day and tracking down a rainbow-dyed Mongolian lamb hooded coat for a VIP client the next.  Let’s take it slow, then, and ease into the season with some autumnal fashion that you don’t even have to try on because you can watch it on you laptop.

My Future’s So Bright: Milan Men’s Collections

Gentle reader,

I finally caught a few minutes of the new VH1 series Mob Wives Chicago over the weekend and it seems to be mostly about the short, mean-looking one named Pia running around and causing drama with all the other cast members.  The episode I saw started with the one who looks like an old Snookie and the tragic kinky perm one meeting up in a sad coffee shop to bitch about the rest of them.  Then midget stripper Pia hangs out with spacey Christina in some rooftop garden and decides to go visit the blonde with the Real Housewives extensions at her optical shop.  As you can imagine, that doesn’t really go well especially after it becomes apparent that the stripper and Real Housewives chick’s boyfriend go way back.

Goddesses, Nymphs and Tramps

TUTTLE MODE

by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

Allow me to apologize in advance.

You see, I’d already had quite a day.  For some reason, I took a hike in the Hills even though I was already dying from leg day at the gym.  Then my spray tan was accidentally set at level two.  I always use the lowest setting for completely natural looking color and never get clocked so this was potentially disastrous.

Tanning: Brazilians do it better (Photo: L.Luna)

Then, after an hour of negotiating a steamy L.A. while trying not to sweat—because, of course, perspiration is the enemy of the faux tan—my favorite bartender Kevin made me a couple of strong margaritas at St. Felix Hollywood as I navigated the dearth of images streaming in from the Paris shows.  So you’ll understand that when I finally plopped down in front of the television Sunday evening, tired and a little fuzzyheaded, VH1’s Tough Love: Miami seemed like a really good idea at the time.