It’s a Plaid, Plaid, Plaid, Plaid World — London Collections: Men

Honestly, it feels a little surreal to be walking around in mid-January in gym shorts while much of the U.S. is experiencing cold so brutal that people in the Midwest are beginning to think the Earth’s poles have shifted.  England isn’t faring much better as waves of torrential rain continue to batter dear old Blighty but, in the British tradition of maintaining a stiff upper lip, the men’s fall fashion presentations now known as London Collections: Men went off pretty much without a hitch over the last few days.

I saw it written somewhere that Selfridges’ creative director Alannah Weston had joined the committee of this rapidly growing fashion event, which started me reminiscing back to my Oxford days when Alannah and I played on the polo team together. 

Angela Ahrendts

Branding: Has Apple Just Made a Genius Move?

As any shark will tell you, you’ve got to keep moving to stay alive. One strategy companies adopt is to bring in successful creatives from completely different industries for a reboot — presumably this makes execs feel like they’re thinking out of the box. In the case of Burberry CEO Angela Ahrendts’ appointment as Apple’s new SVP of retail, this isn’t just thinking different, it’s disparate.

The immediate danger is that this game of executive ping pong between Apple and the fashion industry led to an epic fail only last year,

Burberry Prorsum S/S 14

London Fashion Week S/S ’14 and the Mystery of My Disappearing Undergarments

Gentle reader,

There is some shady shit going on around here, let me tell you.  My damn clothes have been disappearing left and right and it’s not just a sock going into that Twilight Zone of Socks once or twice a year.  All of the no-show socks that I bought to wear with my Valas loafers went in a single load of laundry a couple of weeks ago.  I had to buy more because I hate wearing shoes without socks and I’m not going to put them on with tube socks like some old golfer or German tourist, but the place was out of the light-colored ones so I had to buy them in black. 

Burberry Prorsum Mens FW 2013

Don’t Fall On Your Arse: Men’s Fall Fashion 2013

Gentle reader,

I feel very fortunate to spend most of my days breathing the rarified air of luxury fashion, but working for a designer who has several large collections himself each season and then using Lanvin, Dior or Barneys as my go-to solutions for clients’ sartorial troubles that can’t be solved in-house because they are mere steps away can make one a little, well, fragile when faced with people on the street.  One evening last week, for instance,

Topman Finale

Just the Beginning: London Collections Men for Spring 2014

Gentle reader,

As I sat in the dentist’s chair this morning and the hygienist scraped away at the teensy rocks of tartar that had attached themselves to my teeth under my gums, I had a thought.  Actually, I had two thoughts.  The first was “I wonder when was the last time someone in this chair lost enough blood to pass out.”  The second was that today marked the end of the new men’s fashion week in London, which has been officially and awkwardly named London Collections: Men.  They might not have wanted to label it a fashion week because it only lasts for three days but it still sounds weird. 

Tom Ford

Spilling the Tea: London Fashion Week Fall 2013

Gentle reader,

Welcome to my one hundredth consecutive weekly TuttleMode article for Pure Film Creative.  When I mentioned to my friend Mary that I was gearing up for my hundredth the other day, she said, “Wow, so you’ve been doing this for like six months?”  The last time I checked, there were 52 weeks in a year so I’m actually coming up on two years but, in her defense, Mary has been blonde for a long time.

Salvatore Ferragamo by Sonny Vandevelde

Revenge of the Nerds: Milan Men’s Fashion Week Fall 2013

Gentle reader,

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Milan Men’s Fashion Week strikes again.  The timing actually seems to make more sense this year because it’s so fucking freezing in LA right now that I wouldn’t mind wearing one of next year’s coats over the one that I bought this season.

Saturday was a big day with a lot of important shows beginning with Jil Sander’s for Jil Sander in the morning.  Her collection is simple with boxy, minimal shapes and featuring the double-breasted jackets and large-scale plaids that you’re going to see everywhere next fall.  I was a little disappointed by the Ermenegildo Zegna show after their slim, sexy collection for Fall 2012, which was my favorite in Milan last year.  This year’s is more rocker than usual but struck me a bit cold with its pale grays and shiny silk fabrics.

Prada Mens Fashion SS 2013

Say What You Want to the Damn Dress, It’s Time for Men’s Spring Fashion!

Gentle reader,

The holiday season has officially begun, I guess.  Scott went to Brad Grey’s holiday party at Spago the other night and left me at home to plan out this year’s Christmas tree and watch Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids.  The one thing that stood out about this episode, aside from the fact that I was not at Brad Grey’s holiday party, was tits.  I guess if you think about it, that’s two things standing out, but it’s a grammatical question that is more than I can deal with right now.

You see, I’ve been up to my neck for weeks in women’s clothes and now I’m watching a show where the main challenge is keeping multitudes of enormous boobs from spilling out of these ugly bridesmaids’ dresses.  That’s too much female shit for any guy who doesn’t do drag on a regular basis.  At least skinny, twinkie consultant Brandon isn’t dressing like an idiot these days.  Oh wait, he just showed up wearing a cheap napkin as a cravat.  Never mind.

With all this estrogen flowing, I thought it might finally be time to get back to us guys and what we should be looking for next season.  First of all, the bright jeans that we originally saw on Jon Kortajarena in that great Mavi Jeans campaign are going to be around next season too, which is cool because I got a bright yellow pair at Abercrombie and can’t wait to wear them some more.  Nearly identical yellow jeans were shown at Gucci and they had some other brightly colored looks, as well, so that’s our first spring 2013 trend: bright colors.

Emporio Armani

Emporio Armani

Ferragamo really knocked it out of the park with color, too, but it was less about neon and more “ice cream” tones than last spring.  Every look was shown with amazing multi-colored sneakers that I would personally never wear, even though they were interestingly inspired by the paintings of David Hockney.  But that’s not as interesting as the time that I called David Hockney at home.  My friend, actor Ian McKellan, had been nominated for an Academy Award and I was told that he was staying at the home of a fellow Brit so I rang up the day before the Oscars to wish him good luck.  David Hockney answered the phone and told me that Ian was in an interview with Barbara Walters or someone.  I never get star struck, really, but chatting with this iconic artist was probably as close as I’ll get.

Burberry Prorsum

Sheer Nerve: London Fashion Week Spring 2013

Gentle reader,

You know, I was trying to watch that English chef with the weirdly large biceps fix up an Italian restaurant in Philly on Restaurant: Impossible the other night but it was hard to pay attention because I was getting all these texts from a kid staking out our front door and asking to kick it on our couch for the night.  Normally, we make our friends quite comfortable here but this guy stayed over one night last week when his apartment was “being fumigated” and after we’d gone to sleep, he drank all our tequila and moved the living room furniture around.  Then he climbed into bed between us and grabbed my dick.  Given that Scott was out of town and I was here alone, there was no way I was having a repeat performance of that shit.

Luckily, I had enough time between texting and wondering if I should call the police to learn that a successful Italian restaurant does not usually have a twenty-five page menu, microwaved pasta and décor that dates from 1984 when the Flashdance soundtrack would’ve been playing in the background.  Remember those leg warmers and torn up sweatshirts?  Wow, that was an era that never really needed to happen!

There were no leg warmers or sweatshirts on display at London Fashion Week for Spring 2013.  There wasn’t room for them with all those stripes that followed us from New York.  First, at Temperley London they formed bands of opaque color on sheer long dresses and full skirts in silhouettes inspired by the Dior New Look.  Later at Paul Smith they appeared horizontally and in varying widths on jackets and pants where there was also a healthy dose of color blocking on maxidresses in dark reds and yellows.  Stripes and color blocking both showed up at Jonathan Saunders’ feminine collection that ran the gamut of color.

Temperley London

Temperley London