I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt


by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

I just watched a show where all the girls had the same damn hairstyle, parted in the middle and flattened down until it reached the sides where it fell into loose barrel curls.  Maybe this is a big thing in Chicago, where VH1’s House of Consignment is set but it looked like they’d all been auditioning for a Pride and Prejudice remake on their lunch breaks.

When they weren’t fixing their hair, the fashionistas at the online consignment giant eDrop-Off were getting ready for their big Charity Warehouse Sale, so they sent their two “eTerns”—a term they think is so clever that they say it about every five seconds—out into the streets to pass out flyers.  The eTern Daniel, dressed so fashionably that he looked like a circus clown, kept sashaying around and saying, “Hi, we’re having, like, a charity” so it’s no wonder no one wanted to take one.