Endless Sommer


 by Eric J Baker

I am not God, which irritates me considerably. I know I’d be a lot better than the one currently popular. My godship would promote more sex and less guilt, and I’d let you eat as much as you want without getting fat. I’d also introduce another big change: Goddesses. Lots and lots of them. Seriously, why don’t we have any goddesses? Given how obsessed he is with marriage, you’d think God would at least have a girlfriend. You know what? I bet he’s gay.

Hey girls, did you know smoking will give you a body like Elke Sommer’s?

Since I’m not God, I can’t do anything about the back injury that’s kept me home from work the past couple of days. What I can do to pass the time in this incapacitated state, though, is indulge my taste for ‘60s and early ‘70s European cinema. And in the course of catching up with some of these films, I’ve fallen in love – not for the first time – with German-born beauty Elke Sommer. If I were to start making goddesses for my godship, I’d have a pretty good template there.