Etro Men Fall/Winter 2014

Some Crazy Shit: Men’s Fall Fashion Trends Pt. 1

Gentle reader,

I apologize for yet another gap in my coverage of what’s what in fashion. In addition to settling in at my new Rodeo Drive home base, I’ve been asked to speak at several venues around Southern California in the last few weeks — I’ve somehow become a traveling attraction on the topic of anti-aging. It looks like I have a little break in touring; my next gig isn’t until August 6th at Los Robles Golf Club in Thousand Oaks.  If you happen to be in the area, stop by around seven and I’ll buy you a drink.

Dolce and Gabbana Men 2015

The Subtle Madness of Spring: Milan Men’s Week Spring 2015

Gentle reader,

The men’s spring 2015 shows in Milan just wrapped up yesterday but I’ve been so involved in learning the ropes at my new Rodeo Drive digs, where we are basically working in a very glamorous construction zone while a remodel of mind-blowing proportions takes place around us, that it’s taken me a little time to wrap my head around what’s strutted down the runways in the last four days.  I’d been planning to touch on what ideas the guys might want to incorporate as fall wares roll into stores, but I decided instead to stay all fresh and newsworthy so here’s a breakdown of the shit that went down in Italy last weekend.

In keeping with his loose, dark feel of the fall Ermenegildo Zegna collection, Mr. Pilati started Saturday off all dark and moody with midnight blues and black in fluid, almost baggy, pants and light jackets. 

Milan’s Fall 2014 Collections: Groovy, baby!

Gentle reader,

As you may or may not know, producers of the Oscars are panicking over the red carpet this year and, as early as last Sunday night, started shutting down the streets I use to get to work so they could build their mega-tents.  This is because Southern California’s much-hyped Storm of the Century is about to touch down, dropping a whole inch or maybe two on L.A. and causing widespread mayhem amongst people who can’t drive properly even under beautiful, sunny skies.  Torrential rains were handled pretty well at Cannes this year, if I remember correctly, and it drizzles on the Golden Globes almost every time so I don’t know why they have to freak out and fuck up my morning commute but, hey, that’s what I get for living on the Walk of Fame.

In the midst of all this, I decided to look back over Milan Fashion Week to see what I really liked and didn’t. 

American Hustler Mert Marcus

Turn That Smile Upside Down: Milan Men’s Fashion Week Fall 2014

Gentle reader,

Now that the dust has settled a bit after this month’s men’s Fashion Week marathon, I thought it might be a good time to look back over what we saw in Milan and Paris on that nine-day run when we’re less inclined to be swept away by the spectacle of the show or spew bile on a collection because we didn’t have a chance to have our morning coffee.

And by “we”, of course, I mean “I.” I don’t expect to be treated like a princess or anything but please don’t make me look at clothes, even my own, before I’ve had at least a gulp or two of coffee.

The general feeling in the industry over Milan seemed to be that everything was a bit sad due to the current economic picture in Italy and that the collections were workable but uninspired. 

Salvatore Ferragamo by Sonny Vandevelde

Revenge of the Nerds: Milan Men’s Fashion Week Fall 2013

Gentle reader,

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Milan Men’s Fashion Week strikes again.  The timing actually seems to make more sense this year because it’s so fucking freezing in LA right now that I wouldn’t mind wearing one of next year’s coats over the one that I bought this season.

Saturday was a big day with a lot of important shows beginning with Jil Sander’s for Jil Sander in the morning.  Her collection is simple with boxy, minimal shapes and featuring the double-breasted jackets and large-scale plaids that you’re going to see everywhere next fall.  I was a little disappointed by the Ermenegildo Zegna show after their slim, sexy collection for Fall 2012, which was my favorite in Milan last year.  This year’s is more rocker than usual but struck me a bit cold with its pale grays and shiny silk fabrics.

Lord Robert Walters Naked

Milan Fashion Week Spring 2013: What the Hell Just Happened?

Gentle reader,

A new show called Secret Princes, about four young princes looking for love, debuted on TLC the other night and I’m sure you’re just dying to hear about it.  The premise is wonderfully simple.  They fly in to Atlanta where they’ll live in a rundown old house, work minimum wage jobs and pretend to be regular guys because, you see, busboys get chicks way easier than European princes.

This might be a good time to point out that, despite the title, two of them aren’t actually princes at all.  One guy is a hunky British underwear model named Lord Robert Walters.  Those familiar with the titled aristocracy will know that the use of “Lord” is murky at best, especially when followed by the first name and more considerably when the guy is an underwear model.  The Honourable Ludovic Watson is also a Brit who isn’t a lord but still outranks Lord Robert on the title scale because his father is a baron, though one never addresses a British baron as Baron X, only as Lord X, which is all rather confusing.  Hailing from a big, bleak-looking country house in Yorkshire, he arrives in the ATL wearing a silly tailcoat, which annoyed me more than it should, probably because I was likely to do the same in my youth when many of my friends were lords and “Hons.,” like those on the show.

Secret Princes

L to R: Salauddin Babi, Robert Walters, Francisco de Borbón, and Ludovic Watson

The other two seem to be actual princes.  Chubby, smiley Prince Salauddin Babi of Balasinor comes from western India where he lives in a big compound he’s named the Garden Palace when, from the looks of it, it should really be called the Drywall and Stucco Palace.  There’s also Prince Francisco de Borbón who seems pretty American save having an enormous crest on his jacket and fully staffed houses all over the world.  Oh, and being descended from the royal houses of Spain, France and Germany.  It seems like this could’ve been the perfect Battle of the Eurotrash Douchebags, but these guys are all very cool and I’m looking forward to seeing what happens now that they’re settled in.