by Eric J Baker
100 points. That’s all you’ll ever have.
So says my friend Emilie, though not with such dramatic flair. She’s not trying to lure readers with an intriguing opening, after all. What she means is that everyone has 100 points of intrinsic value that can be divided a number of ways. For example, Pierce Brosnan is a pretty good looking man with passable acting chops. I’d ballpark him at 70 points for looks and 30 for acting skill. Billy Bob Thornton, on the other hand, is more like 25 points for looks and 75 for acting talent. Megan Fox, 90/10. And when discussing Geddy Lee (center, below), the bass player and vocalist for Canadian power trio Rush, Emilie says all 100 of his points are musical talent. Ouch. You know what that means, Ged.
Lee’s virtuosity as a bass player would make him the standout player in most music acts, if he weren’t sharing the stage with world-renowned drummer Neil Peart (85/15 for drumming/ writing books and lyrics) and guitar wiz Alex Lifeson (80/10/10 for guitaring/being the funny one/looks), whose playing style seems wholly his own inspiration. But why does one need so many musical points? You only need to know about five chords to get laid, and that’s the reason we all started playing in the first place, isn’t it?