Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

Row, Row, Row Your…

Gentle reader,

As you most likely have heard, the weather in Los Angeles is usually wonderfully pleasant, which is probably why so many goddamned people want to live here. There are, however, those sporadic days during the summer when it gets a little too hot in our lovely jewel box above Hollywood and the tour buses and Hollywood Bowl traffic make me want to drop pipe bombs at regular intervals along Cahuenga Boulevard. Yesterday was one such day so, after my trainer and an abbreviated hike in the hills, I decided to have a cool shower and get the fuck out of there.  I’d been dying to see my friend Mary since we both ventured forth from the Armani fold last month and it seemed a great time to visit her new home at The Row on Melrose Place, the very first boutique for the brand in the whole entire world.  And they must have air conditioning, right?

Etro Men Fall/Winter 2014

Some Crazy Shit: Men’s Fall Fashion Trends Pt. 1

Gentle reader,

I apologize for yet another gap in my coverage of what’s what in fashion. In addition to settling in at my new Rodeo Drive home base, I’ve been asked to speak at several venues around Southern California in the last few weeks — I’ve somehow become a traveling attraction on the topic of anti-aging. It looks like I have a little break in touring; my next gig isn’t until August 6th at Los Robles Golf Club in Thousand Oaks.  If you happen to be in the area, stop by around seven and I’ll buy you a drink.

Dolce and Gabbana Men 2015

The Subtle Madness of Spring: Milan Men’s Week Spring 2015

Gentle reader,

The men’s spring 2015 shows in Milan just wrapped up yesterday but I’ve been so involved in learning the ropes at my new Rodeo Drive digs, where we are basically working in a very glamorous construction zone while a remodel of mind-blowing proportions takes place around us, that it’s taken me a little time to wrap my head around what’s strutted down the runways in the last four days.  I’d been planning to touch on what ideas the guys might want to incorporate as fall wares roll into stores, but I decided instead to stay all fresh and newsworthy so here’s a breakdown of the shit that went down in Italy last weekend.

In keeping with his loose, dark feel of the fall Ermenegildo Zegna collection, Mr. Pilati started Saturday off all dark and moody with midnight blues and black in fluid, almost baggy, pants and light jackets. 

Cara_Delevingne_Michael_Kors_Mario_Testino

Fall Forward: Women’s Upcoming Trends, Pt. 1

Gentle reader,

Driving home from Beverly Hills yesterday, I passed a tall, skinny blond kid on the street wearing very short denim cut-offs, a horizontal striped crop top and a skanky Mickey Mouse ear-warmer hat thing.  He may have just been wandering around thinking it was still Gay Pride, but I took it as a sign that I’d been gone from these pages for too long.  If you, yourself, have recently committed any major fashion faux pas like wearing Uggs, sporting big Tory Burch logos or trying to pull off a dopey Pharrell hat while I was away, let’s just pretend it didn’t happen.  It’s partially my fault for leaving you alone for so long.

You see, I’ve been busy these past weeks pulling up some very deep roots in one venerable Italian fashion powerhouse and planting a seed at another. 

Milan’s Fall 2014 Collections: Groovy, baby!

Gentle reader,

As you may or may not know, producers of the Oscars are panicking over the red carpet this year and, as early as last Sunday night, started shutting down the streets I use to get to work so they could build their mega-tents.  This is because Southern California’s much-hyped Storm of the Century is about to touch down, dropping a whole inch or maybe two on L.A. and causing widespread mayhem amongst people who can’t drive properly even under beautiful, sunny skies.  Torrential rains were handled pretty well at Cannes this year, if I remember correctly, and it drizzles on the Golden Globes almost every time so I don’t know why they have to freak out and fuck up my morning commute but, hey, that’s what I get for living on the Walk of Fame.

In the midst of all this, I decided to look back over Milan Fashion Week to see what I really liked and didn’t. 

American Hustler Mert Marcus

Turn That Smile Upside Down: Milan Men’s Fashion Week Fall 2014

Gentle reader,

Now that the dust has settled a bit after this month’s men’s Fashion Week marathon, I thought it might be a good time to look back over what we saw in Milan and Paris on that nine-day run when we’re less inclined to be swept away by the spectacle of the show or spew bile on a collection because we didn’t have a chance to have our morning coffee.

And by “we”, of course, I mean “I.” I don’t expect to be treated like a princess or anything but please don’t make me look at clothes, even my own, before I’ve had at least a gulp or two of coffee.

The general feeling in the industry over Milan seemed to be that everything was a bit sad due to the current economic picture in Italy and that the collections were workable but uninspired. 

Burberry Prorsum Mens FW 2013

Don’t Fall On Your Arse: Men’s Fall Fashion 2013

Gentle reader,

I feel very fortunate to spend most of my days breathing the rarified air of luxury fashion, but working for a designer who has several large collections himself each season and then using Lanvin, Dior or Barneys as my go-to solutions for clients’ sartorial troubles that can’t be solved in-house because they are mere steps away can make one a little, well, fragile when faced with people on the street.  One evening last week, for instance,

Gucci Mens SS 2014

Milan Men’s Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2014: Sporty Spice?

Gentle reader,

As I was chomping at the bit for men’s fashion week to start in Milan, I briefly distracted myself by stopping by the opening of my fabulously stylish friend Caroline Cohen‘s art opening a few days ago at the lovely BoaSoa Gallery just off Melrose in WeHo.  After I got over how stunning she looked in her shimmering gold Hervé Leger bandage dress, I noticed some impressive large canvases lining the feature wall.  Each piece is a mixture of paint and collage and most paintings reference the peculiar mood a particular location like Paris or Bali.  There is enough layering and detail

Dolce and Gabbana FW 2013

La Dolce Vita Remix: Milan Fashion Week Fall 2013

Gentle reader,

I’m not sure if you noticed, but there was a little thing that went down a few blocks from our place on Sunday.  It’s called the Academy Awards and they seem to do it every year, like clockwork or something.  I tuned in this time because our friend, the dashing Lawrence Zarian, was working the pre-awards red carpet for ABC and then decided to watch the whole show. 

Salvatore Ferragamo by Sonny Vandevelde

Revenge of the Nerds: Milan Men’s Fashion Week Fall 2013

Gentle reader,

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Milan Men’s Fashion Week strikes again.  The timing actually seems to make more sense this year because it’s so fucking freezing in LA right now that I wouldn’t mind wearing one of next year’s coats over the one that I bought this season.

Saturday was a big day with a lot of important shows beginning with Jil Sander’s for Jil Sander in the morning.  Her collection is simple with boxy, minimal shapes and featuring the double-breasted jackets and large-scale plaids that you’re going to see everywhere next fall.  I was a little disappointed by the Ermenegildo Zegna show after their slim, sexy collection for Fall 2012, which was my favorite in Milan last year.  This year’s is more rocker than usual but struck me a bit cold with its pale grays and shiny silk fabrics.