How to Marry a Millionaire


by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

Our favorite Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger is back in L.A. for her fifth season on Bravo and it looks like she’s had a little work done on her face to commemorate the occasion.  Unfortunately, it looks like she did the work herself after she’d had a few cocktails.  Seriously, Patti, what’s with the wonky lips and the eyebrows creeping upward at different altitudes?  Do they measure out Botox these days or just randomly inject and run?

Nick Ayler: Not a millionaire but he should be. (Photo: R Gerst)

This scary makeover thing usually happens before season two, after the person has watched themselves over the six or eight episodes of the first season and felt like they needed to correct a few things.  Luckily, there’s enough time after they find out they’ve been picked up for a second season to get a little filler, tightening or all-out liposuction before taping begins anew.  In Patti’s case, it’s been four seasons but the word on the street is that she’s newly single so that might be her reason for slimming down and fucking with her face.