Ron Paul: Zombie President


by Eric J Baker

It ends right here and right now.

I’m talking about the massive media conspiracy to ignore Ron Paul (you know the imaginary conspiracy his paranoid disciples won’t stop talking about). This story mentions but one GOP candidate – the one, true heir to the presidency – and dispenses with the usurpers. Today, my keyboard is Excalibur, and the mainstream media is whatever got famously killed by it (I never read a King Arthur book). Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ron Paul:

G4’s cutest cowgirl, Sara Jean “Ron Paul” Underwood

You may have heard the buzz surrounding the upcoming Timur Bekmambetov flick Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, which, in my mind, has Snakes on a Plane-fiasco written all over it. $70,000,000 is a lot of money to spend on a movie simply because the title is quirky, no? Besides, this concept has already been done by AMC’s hit series, The Walking Dead, which recently resumed its second season after a winter hiatus. But instead of a dead Republican president and vampires, The Walking Dead is about a live Republican presidential candidate and his vision for America. You know who I mean.