Rogues and Romance in Milan

TUTTLE MODE | THE COLLECTIONS

by James Tuttle @TuttleMode

Gentle reader,

It was only a matter of time before I finally happened upon the tantalizingly titled Storage Wars on A&E and, despite that it’s about people bidding on the contents of abandoned storage lockers, I was looking forward to something sophisticated and informative.  A&E stands for “Arts and Entertainment,” after all, and is the home of Downton Abbey and Masterpiece Theater.  Oh, wait, that’s PBS!  A&E has Dog The Bounty Hunter and Hoarders, which is an entirely different thing.  Still, it couldn’t be too bad, right?

The Patriota twins hit the Milan runways this week, but they look even better without clothes. Photo: Stewart Shining

Well, the opening titles are pretty hokey and, when they introduce the regulars on the show, it’s obvious that not one of them arrived in time for hair and makeup.  I especially remember Jarrod and Brandi (their real names!), a young couple acquiring merchandise for their shop.  There is also an older guy, Barry, who has a voice like Charlie Sheen but seems like a charming, cultivated gentleman who could keep you entertained for hours with stories of the escapades of his wild youth.  Charlie Sheen might be able to do that some day, too, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.