Carrie

11 Mothers Who Are Even Worse Than Yours

Ah, Mother’s Day. That annual event in which you pretend to be grateful for all the psychological damage your mother has inflicted upon you from day one of your helpless, flailing existence. She’ll even try to make you feel bad for being bitter by claiming she slaved over a hot stove and changed your diapers at the expense of her own happiness.

It’s all lies. First of all, slaving over a hot stove is infinitely preferable to bringing down prey in the wild or letting a five-year-old operate a gas burner.

French Maids From Beyond the Grave

BAKER STREET

by Eric J Baker

One of the things I can’t stand about the movie Twister is the lame titular character. It’s a villain without will, intent, or malevolence, inflicting nothing more than incidental damage. All our heroes have to do to escape this villain is get in the car and drive in the opposite direction. Just leave. Don’t drive toward the tornado. Threat over.

But hell if I’m going to talk about tornado movies (?) in October, with the festival of Samhain just around the corner. Tonight I’m talking about haunted house movies, the most scream inducing of all horror subgenres. Except that said screams are usually directed at the people in the movie and go something like, “Hey assholes! Just leave the friggin’ house!”

Alexandra Breckenridge, who shows up in this article eventually.

You know, like the parents in Poltergeist (1982) who, after their daughter gets sucked into another dimension via her bedroom closet and is miraculously rescued from the clutches of evil, put her back in the same damned bedroom!