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February 28, 2014
TUTTLEMODE

Milan’s Fall 2014 Collections: Groovy, baby!

Gentle reader,

As you may or may not know, producers of the Oscars are panicking over the red carpet this year and, as early as last Sunday night, started shutting down the streets I use to get to work so they could build their mega-tents.  This is because Southern California’s much-hyped Storm of the Century is about to touch down, dropping a whole inch or maybe two on L.A. and causing widespread mayhem amongst people who can’t drive properly even under beautiful, sunny skies.  Torrential rains were handled pretty well at Cannes this year, if I remember correctly, and it drizzles on the Golden Globes almost every time so I don’t know why they have to freak out and fuck up my morning commute but, hey, that’s what I get for living on the Walk of Fame.

In the midst of all this, I decided to look back over Milan Fashion Week to see what I really liked and didn’t. 

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By James Tuttle
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Salvatore Ferragamo by Sonny Vandevelde
January 16, 2013
TUTTLEMODE

Revenge of the Nerds: Milan Men’s Fashion Week Fall 2013

Gentle reader,

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Milan Men’s Fashion Week strikes again.  The timing actually seems to make more sense this year because it’s so fucking freezing in LA right now that I wouldn’t mind wearing one of next year’s coats over the one that I bought this season.

Saturday was a big day with a lot of important shows beginning with Jil Sander’s for Jil Sander in the morning.  Her collection is simple with boxy, minimal shapes and featuring the double-breasted jackets and large-scale plaids that you’re going to see everywhere next fall.  I was a little disappointed by the Ermenegildo Zegna show after their slim, sexy collection for Fall 2012, which was my favorite in Milan last year.  This year’s is more rocker than usual but struck me a bit cold with its pale grays and shiny silk fabrics.

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By James Tuttle
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Prada Mens Fashion SS 2013
December 5, 2012
TUTTLEMODE

Say What You Want to the Damn Dress, It’s Time for Men’s Spring Fashion!

Gentle reader,

The holiday season has officially begun, I guess.  Scott went to Brad Grey’s holiday party at Spago the other night and left me at home to plan out this year’s Christmas tree and watch Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids.  The one thing that stood out about this episode, aside from the fact that I was not at Brad Grey’s holiday party, was tits.  I guess if you think about it, that’s two things standing out, but it’s a grammatical question that is more than I can deal with right now.

You see, I’ve been up to my neck for weeks in women’s clothes and now I’m watching a show where the main challenge is keeping multitudes of enormous boobs from spilling out of these ugly bridesmaids’ dresses.  That’s too much female shit for any guy who doesn’t do drag on a regular basis.  At least skinny, twinkie consultant Brandon isn’t dressing like an idiot these days.  Oh wait, he just showed up wearing a cheap napkin as a cravat.  Never mind.

With all this estrogen flowing, I thought it might finally be time to get back to us guys and what we should be looking for next season.  First of all, the bright jeans that we originally saw on Jon Kortajarena in that great Mavi Jeans campaign are going to be around next season too, which is cool because I got a bright yellow pair at Abercrombie and can’t wait to wear them some more.  Nearly identical yellow jeans were shown at Gucci and they had some other brightly colored looks, as well, so that’s our first spring 2013 trend: bright colors.

Emporio Armani

Emporio Armani

Ferragamo really knocked it out of the park with color, too, but it was less about neon and more “ice cream” tones than last spring.  Every look was shown with amazing multi-colored sneakers that I would personally never wear, even though they were interestingly inspired by the paintings of David Hockney.  But that’s not as interesting as the time that I called David Hockney at home.  My friend, actor Ian McKellan, had been nominated for an Academy Award and I was told that he was staying at the home of a fellow Brit so I rang up the day before the Oscars to wish him good luck.  David Hockney answered the phone and told me that Ian was in an interview with Barbara Walters or someone.  I never get star struck, really, but chatting with this iconic artist was probably as close as I’ll get.

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By James Tuttle
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Lord Robert Walters Naked
September 26, 2012
TUTTLEMODE

Milan Fashion Week Spring 2013: What the Hell Just Happened?

Gentle reader,

A new show called Secret Princes, about four young princes looking for love, debuted on TLC the other night and I’m sure you’re just dying to hear about it.  The premise is wonderfully simple.  They fly in to Atlanta where they’ll live in a rundown old house, work minimum wage jobs and pretend to be regular guys because, you see, busboys get chicks way easier than European princes.

This might be a good time to point out that, despite the title, two of them aren’t actually princes at all.  One guy is a hunky British underwear model named Lord Robert Walters.  Those familiar with the titled aristocracy will know that the use of “Lord” is murky at best, especially when followed by the first name and more considerably when the guy is an underwear model.  The Honourable Ludovic Watson is also a Brit who isn’t a lord but still outranks Lord Robert on the title scale because his father is a baron, though one never addresses a British baron as Baron X, only as Lord X, which is all rather confusing.  Hailing from a big, bleak-looking country house in Yorkshire, he arrives in the ATL wearing a silly tailcoat, which annoyed me more than it should, probably because I was likely to do the same in my youth when many of my friends were lords and “Hons.,” like those on the show.

Secret Princes

L to R: Salauddin Babi, Robert Walters, Francisco de Borbón, and Ludovic Watson

The other two seem to be actual princes.  Chubby, smiley Prince Salauddin Babi of Balasinor comes from western India where he lives in a big compound he’s named the Garden Palace when, from the looks of it, it should really be called the Drywall and Stucco Palace.  There’s also Prince Francisco de Borbón who seems pretty American save having an enormous crest on his jacket and fully staffed houses all over the world.  Oh, and being descended from the royal houses of Spain, France and Germany.  It seems like this could’ve been the perfect Battle of the Eurotrash Douchebags, but these guys are all very cool and I’m looking forward to seeing what happens now that they’re settled in.

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By James Tuttle
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June 22, 2011
TUTTLEMODE

Thai One On In Milan

TUTTLE MODE

by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

I have to admit that, other than the cover of People in the checkout line, I haven’t been keeping up with this season of The Bachelorette on ABC.  Honestly, it’s usually not as much fun as The Bachelor because the contestants are straight guys and straight guys tend to get along, pat each other on the back and say supportive things.  The ladies on The Bachelor, on the other hand, are more likely to argue, stab each other in the back and pull hair.  Or maybe I’m thinking of Mob Wives.

If you watch it the right way, boxing is really gay porn.

As I turned on the television the other night, some hunky shirtless guys in boxing gear were fighting it out in a picturesque boxing ring in an exotic Asian locale.  It may have looked like a straight person’s idea of a gay porn movie but this was actually The Bachelorette and the guys whaling on each other were those straight guys that I’d normally expect to be getting along so well.  Of course, I had to rewind to the beginning and, when I learned that they had taken the whole thing to the beautiful temple-filled city of Chiang Mai in Thailand, I thought, “What better way to honor a beautiful city and its ancient culture than to plop down and bunch of douchebags and tape a reality show?”  You’re welcome, Thailand!

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By Pure Film Creative
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