Sailors and Saints: Paris Men’s Collections

Gentle reader,

Go ahead, I won’t tell anyone.  Just admit that you were as excited about the premiere of TLC’s new series Craft Wars as I was.  Handy as I am at gold leafing a vintage fauteuil or covering picture frames in rare imported silk, I’ve got nothing on those bitches with the cardboard and glue guns.  And forget about bedazzling!  I also like competition shows where people have to complete difficult tasks under ridiculous time constraints because, hey, life isn’t stressful enough already.

It’s always nice to see what Tori Spelling is up to, too.  As host of Craft Wars, it seems that her main goal is to say the word “craft” as many times as she possibly can:  Craft Wars, crafting, crafters, craft closet, arts and crafts, craft experts, etc.  I think she said it enough times in the first forty-five seconds that I can now entirely eliminate it from my vocabulary.

How to Marry a Millionaire


by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

Our favorite Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger is back in L.A. for her fifth season on Bravo and it looks like she’s had a little work done on her face to commemorate the occasion.  Unfortunately, it looks like she did the work herself after she’d had a few cocktails.  Seriously, Patti, what’s with the wonky lips and the eyebrows creeping upward at different altitudes?  Do they measure out Botox these days or just randomly inject and run?

Nick Ayler: Not a millionaire but he should be. (Photo: R Gerst)

This scary makeover thing usually happens before season two, after the person has watched themselves over the six or eight episodes of the first season and felt like they needed to correct a few things.  Luckily, there’s enough time after they find out they’ve been picked up for a second season to get a little filler, tightening or all-out liposuction before taping begins anew.  In Patti’s case, it’s been four seasons but the word on the street is that she’s newly single so that might be her reason for slimming down and fucking with her face.