Not since Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ has there been such a (seemingly) shameless grab for the Bible Belt Dollar as Darren Aronofsky’s forthcoming Noah, which now has a release date of March 28, 2014.
There is something grotesquely comical about the way some film industry folk perceive themselves and their place in the world. Showbiz in general has always been vaguely sordid, with its financial shenanigans/money laundering and the colorful characters that come attached to those practices,
My good friend Shawn Riegsecker, whose unique brand of seductive enthusiasm should be patented, set a goal for me three months ago: I should have one quarter of the amount of comedian Rob Delaney’s followers on Twitter by the end of the year. After he fixed that target and I set up my Twitter account, he actually looked up how many followers Delaney has: three hundred thousand, which makes seventy-five thousand for me by 2013. “Hah!” Shawn said. “You’re fucked!”
Real men use BlackBerry.
I am currently at seventy-five followers, three zeros short. It will probably drop to seventy-four by the end of today once Twitter’s algorithmic bots sweep through and find out that @CoastalOptometry isn’t so enthralled by surreal, esoteric quips about atheism that it has followed me, but is in fact a spammer. This means I have to increase my base by over one hundred thousand percent in eight months, if my primary-school math still holds.