Say What You Want to the Damn Dress, It’s Time for Men’s Spring Fashion!

Gentle reader,

The holiday season has officially begun, I guess.  Scott went to Brad Grey’s holiday party at Spago the other night and left me at home to plan out this year’s Christmas tree and watch Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids.  The one thing that stood out about this episode, aside from the fact that I was not at Brad Grey’s holiday party, was tits.  I guess if you think about it, that’s two things standing out, but it’s a grammatical question that is more than I can deal with right now.

You see, I’ve been up to my neck for weeks in women’s clothes and now I’m watching a show where the main challenge is keeping multitudes of enormous boobs from spilling out of these ugly bridesmaids’ dresses.  That’s too much female shit for any guy who doesn’t do drag on a regular basis.  At least skinny, twinkie consultant Brandon isn’t dressing like an idiot these days.  Oh wait, he just showed up wearing a cheap napkin as a cravat.  Never mind.

With all this estrogen flowing, I thought it might finally be time to get back to us guys and what we should be looking for next season.  First of all, the bright jeans that we originally saw on Jon Kortajarena in that great Mavi Jeans campaign are going to be around next season too, which is cool because I got a bright yellow pair at Abercrombie and can’t wait to wear them some more.  Nearly identical yellow jeans were shown at Gucci and they had some other brightly colored looks, as well, so that’s our first spring 2013 trend: bright colors.

Emporio Armani

Ferragamo really knocked it out of the park with color, too, but it was less about neon and more “ice cream” tones than last spring.  Every look was shown with amazing multi-colored sneakers that I would personally never wear, even though they were interestingly inspired by the paintings of David Hockney.  But that’s not as interesting as the time that I called David Hockney at home.  My friend, actor Ian McKellan, had been nominated for an Academy Award and I was told that he was staying at the home of a fellow Brit so I rang up the day before the Oscars to wish him good luck.  David Hockney answered the phone and told me that Ian was in an interview with Barbara Walters or someone.  I never get star struck, really, but chatting with this iconic artist was probably as close as I’ll get.