Sheer Nerve: London Fashion Week Spring 2013

Burberry Prorsum

Gentle reader,

You know, I was trying to watch that English chef with the weirdly large biceps fix up an Italian restaurant in Philly on Restaurant: Impossible the other night but it was hard to pay attention because I was getting all these texts from a kid staking out our front door and asking to kick it on our couch for the night.  Normally, we make our friends quite comfortable here but this guy stayed over one night last week when his apartment was “being fumigated” and after we’d gone to sleep, he drank all our tequila and moved the living room furniture around.  Then he climbed into bed between us and grabbed my dick.  Given that Scott was out of town and I was here alone, there was no way I was having a repeat performance of that shit.

Luckily, I had enough time between texting and wondering if I should call the police to learn that a successful Italian restaurant does not usually have a twenty-five page menu, microwaved pasta and décor that dates from 1984 when the Flashdance soundtrack would’ve been playing in the background.  Remember those leg warmers and torn up sweatshirts?  Wow, that was an era that never really needed to happen!

There were no leg warmers or sweatshirts on display at London Fashion Week for Spring 2013.  There wasn’t room for them with all those stripes that followed us from New York.  First, at Temperley London they formed bands of opaque color on sheer long dresses and full skirts in silhouettes inspired by the Dior New Look.  Later at Paul Smith they appeared horizontally and in varying widths on jackets and pants where there was also a healthy dose of color blocking on maxidresses in dark reds and yellows.  Stripes and color blocking both showed up at Jonathan Saunders’ feminine collection that ran the gamut of color.

Temperley London

Temperley London

Mary Katrantzou thought outside the box with beautiful abstract prints from postage stamps and banknotes that looked vaguely Eastern European-meets-Traditional Chinese on her dramatic shapes.  The intricately printed crystal mesh pieces at the end were a sensational wash of pastels.

Monday brought us some variety that began with Erdem’s signature lace bizarrely punctuated with python panels that were inspired by alien women in 1950s science fiction.  His rounded shoulders and classic lines were also borrowed from the 50s but the super sheer fabrics that showed up yet again made me think we’d better start focusing on spring underwear trends, too.  The Burberry Prorsum show in the afternoon brought us rainbow metallic cellophane on skirts, tops and dresses and, of course, trench coats.  The timeless shapes in pale camels toward the middle of the show were infinitely more wearable but the shiny trench coat finale in Skittles colors are what we’ll all remember.  Giles Deacon went to the opposite end of the color trend spectrum with a black and white Goth-y collection of spider web and Pegasus motifs that was very cool.

The final day brought Mulberry’s small-scale floral prints in greens, golds and blues on loose fitting ensembles complimented by some nice car coats before Roksanda Ilincik closed it down with the last word in color blocking in some bright, bright hues.  Shapes were soft and a bit 70s with long skirts, Peter Pan collars and mutton sleeves.  Those final looks that seemed made of plastic bags weren’t my favorites but they’ll be quite practical in next year’s London spring weather.

Check out my slideshow of pix below.  See you in Milan!

Much love,


[heading]LFW S/S 2013 – Slideshow[/heading]

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