God On A Wheel!

THE KILLOUGH CHRONICLES | THE INDIA FILES

by James Killough

Dear Easter Bunny,

You’ve always been my favorite of the fictional characters I was asked to believe in without question from childhood.  As an adult, I admire how humbly and stoically you have endured under the shadow of that fat bitch Santa Claus over the centuries.  You are a testament to how cute ultimately triumphs over gluttony with the right amount of tenacity.

I had the strangest dream this morning.  Betty White was married to my father or some other amorphous patriarchal member of my family, and we belonged to some hyper-conservative, super-slick country club.  Betty got very drunk and loud, so I admonished her for making a fool of the family in front of the rest of the club and threw her glass of champagne in the pool.  I woke up full of remorse for how I’d treated her, for being so bourgeois in my dreams when I am so not in waking life.  I felt like writing her an apology note and sending it to her agent.  The truth is I rather like drunk, loud, bat-shit-crazy old women, like Royce and Marilyn. Royce’s favorite exclamation is from whence comes the title of this post:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGldM85dXYs&w=480&h=390]

They say that every character in your dreams is really a variation on you.  Obviously I need to get in touch with my inner Betty White and ask her forgiveness instead of sending an apology note.